


Respite

by TheOlderDixonBoy



Category: The Walking Dead, The Walking Dead & Related Fandoms, The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-09
Updated: 2019-08-09
Packaged: 2020-08-13 19:30:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20179537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheOlderDixonBoy/pseuds/TheOlderDixonBoy
Summary: Work has been awful the past few weeks and all you want to do is go home and fall asleep. When your friends convince you to go out to a local dive bar, you see Merle Dixon and his brother Daryl. Despite his reputation and what you know about him, you start to think that maybe Merle could be just who you need right now.Warnings: Language, mentioned smut.Note: I had the hardest time naming this and summarizing it. I have no idea what even category of anything this fits into. It’s total self-indulgent bullshit. So sorry about that.





	Respite

It was a typical Friday night in this small, dingy Georgia town. The one bar in town was doing a great business with the eclectic group of locals. Bikers, groups of young women trying to have a good time and ignoring the comments of groups of young men, recently divorced men and women, and even some good old fashioned drunks all piled into Jimmy’s Bar for the evening. You came here most Friday nights with your friends for no other reason other than it was a common place to get the night started. Usually halfway through the evening half of the group paired off and the other half just went home, or found a more exciting venue in someone’s backyard or trailer to spend the rest of the evening.

The last few weeks however, you’d found yourself spending a lot more time in Jimmy’s Bar on the arm of Merle Dixon. Merle was the biggest and the loudest man in that bar. His actual occupation was a mystery to you, but considering how many hushed conversations happened behind closed doors in the short amount of time you were with him, you figured it best not to ask. The first evening you hooked up with Merle was an accident, kind of. You’d seen him in that bar and around town for years, it’s hard to miss Merle Dixon, but you’d never spoken to him. When your friend decided it was her life goal to sleep with the more conventionally attractive and dark-haired Daryl Dixon, you agreed to go over with her to the group of intimidating men in order to give her more confidence.

Once the two of you made it over to the Dixon’s and their two friends however, you realized no amount of planning would have prepared you for speaking to either brother, especially Merle. The two men were polar opposites. Where Daryl would sit and stare anyone down and only mumble things under his breath, Merle would bark out any and all opinions he had on his mind.

Being a wingman for your friend turned out to be extremely easy. All you had to do was stand by her so she had enough confidence to be herself. Which had worked; with minimal coaxing from your friend, Daryl happily took her back to his place for the evening and fucked her. That wasn’t a surprise to anyone; your friend was gorgeous and Daryl was a single man.

Before that evening, you had never been that close to Merle before, and were neither expecting his eyes to be so blue, nor his voice to be capable of being so soft and low. You were not expecting to find Merle so attractive that you became brave enough to smile and flirt back with him a bit. Nor were you expecting to be spending the evening sitting in Merle’s lap, having him buy you drinks and telling you stories from his youth as you wrapped your arms around his neck, and ran your hands down his chest, and squeezed his biceps when he flexed for you (something you learned he loved to do). It felt nice to just laugh and giggle and get told how sexy you were while Merle ran his hands all over you and grinned from ear to ear. His comments bordered on offensive, but you were willing to give him a bit of leeway considering the stuff you usually heard come out of Merle’s mouth. Merle and you stayed in that bar, flirting and kissing and drinking a good hour and a half after Daryl and your friend left.

Merle didn’t take you home that evening, his brother and him lived together and he didn’t feel like dealing with the inevitable circus at his house that would occur with two drunk young women and two drunk Dixons. Instead he told you he had an idea and told you to meet him out back in five. He drove his bike to the alley in the back of the bar and bent you over the seat of it, fucking you hard and fast to multiple intense orgasms that left you a shaky and moaning mess. Merle was even nice enough to call you a cab to take you home. The next morning he showed up at your place on his bike to drive you back to the bar so you could pick up your car. It was, you realized with a hint of sadness, the nicest thing a man had ever done for you without being provoked.

The two of you began seeing more of each other after that. Merle’s face would always light up whenever he saw you, and he even took to calling you by pet names like “baby doll” and “baby girl” which always made you blush like a schoolgirl. His affections, as genuine as they may have been, were always surrounded in animalistic lust. Merle was the most sex drive man you’d ever met. You weren’t sure exactly how old Merle was, but he had to have been mid to late forties at the youngest. However, he still had the appetite of a man in his twenties, and coupled with the experience of a man his age, Merle was by far the best sex you’d ever had. Whenever you saw Merle, it always ended in the two of you having sex, usually of the rough variety that left you sore and marked up for days afterwards.

On this particular friday you were hesitant about going out. You were exhausted. Work had been hard on you the past weeks not to mention that you had to make whatever you had in your account stretch another two weeks after student loans, rent, and a car payment took most of your check. You really didn’t even have money to be spending on alcohol, but you figured it was better for your sanity, and the general public, if you were able to unwind. You came out with your friends, all of whom had better jobs, and less stressful jobs, and more money, and partners who contributed to the bills and their own sense of belonging. You could feel yourself drifting away from them over the past few months, but being in such a small town left you little options for other people to make friends with.

This was probably why you got along with Merle so well. The two of you were, in your own ways, frustrated, malcontent people who simultaneously wanted to leave this shit hole town for good but we’re too stubborn to actually leave. You knew you weren’t going to leave your job anytime soon. And you knew you weren’t going to find new friends anytime soon. But still, you just needed something to give. You needed one day where you could honestly relax, and going to a dive bar in a small Georgia town seemed like a good place to start.

When you walked into Jimmy’s with your friends, the first thing you did was try to find a table for all of you to sit at. You all walked towards to the corner of the bar and you were not surprised to find Merle sitting at his usual table drinking with his brother. You grinned to yourself and nodded to your friends that you were going to go say hi to Merle. They rolled their eyes and let out little sighs of annoyance, but let you go. They knew you “saying hi” to Merle meant you’d be gone for the entire evening. None of them understood why you wasted your time with some dirty old lowlife redneck, but you assured them he was good to you and treated you well so they were happy enough to let you go. They all sat down at their table, digging out money from their purses to hand to the designated “drink grabber” for the first round while they watched you walk over to Merle with mild interest.

Usually you’d head over to Merle already with half a mind to rip his clothes off and kiss every part of him you could. But tonight, as your eyes roamed over his tight jeans, old work boots, tanned skin exposed, with the sleeves of his button up rolled halfway up his arms, you felt something different. You could see the way Merle’s jaw and neck moved and flexed as he took another swig of his beer and you couldn’t help but smile. But you also noticed how broad his chest was, and how long and strong his arms were, how big his hands were, and how the cold steel blue of his eyes was almost kind if you glanced at him in one of the rare moments when he was off guard. You found yourself torn between wanting to climb into his lap immediately and wanting to curl up in a little ball and have him hold you.

The last week had been hard. Work was shit. Coworkers were shit. You were tired of having to make budgets and check them constantly. You were frustrated with having to be on your game and strong all the time at work lest your boss make some excuse about how a woman couldn’t handle the pressure. You wanted to cry and scream and hit something and just be left alone, but what you wanted more was to just collapse in someone’s arms. Right now, as you walked up to Merle sitting at his table at the back of this dingy bar, shooting the shit with his brother, his long legs spread out under the table and his long arms gesturing as he talked, you thought about how nice it would be to just fall asleep on him.

The problem was that wasn’t the Merle you knew. When he noticed you had walked up to his table, his opening line confirmed it.

“Well, if it ain’t the finest piece a’ ass this side of the Mason Dixon line,” Merle drawled, lifting his beer towards you. He reached out and grabbed your wrist and tugged you to him. You went willingly, unable to stop the small giggle that slipped from your lips.

“Hey Merle. Hey Daryl,” you said quietly. Merle’s hand slipped around your back and brought you closer to him. You placed one of your hands on his large chest and looked down at him and smiled.

“Ya gonna let a guy buy a pretty girl a drink?” Merle said with a chuckle. You nodded yes and Merle kissed you quickly on the lips before he walked off to go buy you and himself a beer.

Merle always threw his cheesy one liners at you like he was hitting on you for the first time, that then quickly dissolved into dirty things he wanted to do to you. You always let him, rolling your eyes at him but secretly enjoying the way he flirted with you even though he already knew he had you.

Tonight was no exception in that once he had come back from getting the drinks, Merle pulled you down to sit next to him and immediately had his hands on you. One of his large calloused hands ran up and down the fabric of your jeans, firmly squeezing your upper thigh. His other hand held his beer, which he downed half of in one large gulp.

“How’s my girl?” Merle asked you.

Before you had time to answer him he had pulled you over to him and ducked his head down so he could press his lips to yours. He opened his mouth and sucked your lower lip in between his teeth and bit down softly before letting go and shoving his tongue in your mouth. You just moved your mouth against his, trying to keep up with his movements. You could taste the alcohol on his tongue and knew he’d been drinking for a while.

You pulled away and said quickly, before he could stop you again, “I’m fine. Tired. You guys okay?”

Daryl grunted some type of noise that indicated he was alright and Merle took another large sip of beer and told you “Damn fine now that yer here, sugar.”

“You need to slow down,” you said without conviction. You knew nothing could stop Merle from drinking when he had alcohol in front of him. You thought vaguely that that should worry you, but you were too tired to think about it.

“Nah, ya need to speed up baby,” Merle said with a gruff laugh. He nodded towards your beer and you took a small sip, rolling your eyes at him in the process. “Need ya a bit drunk for what I got planned for ya tonight.”

You narrowed your eyes, saving the lecture for everything wrong with what Merle just said for another day. Merle had always respected when you turned him down and never tried anything when you were too drunk, so you let it slide.

“I’m tired, Merle,” you said, resting your head on his shoulder and leaning into him.

“That’s alright,” Merle whispered into your ear, making you smile and let out a content little sound. “Ya ain’t gotta ride my cock tonight, baby. I’ll just bend ya over somethin’. Pound into ya for a while.”

“Hey!” You said, nudging him lightly.

“What? Don’t want that?” Merle asked you with a smirk. He winked over at Daryl who glared at him and shook his head. “Could just lay ya down, throw ya legs over my shoulders, an’ fuck ya so hard ya ain’t gonna walk the rest of the weekend.”

“Merle!” You exclaimed, slapping him on the chest and looking wide-eyed over at Daryl, who judging by his expression heard everything his brother just said. “Don’t be like that.”

“Why ya so shy all of a sudden?” Merle said with a laugh as he took another sip of his beer. “Two days ago I had ya on yer knees, and ya begged me to cum all over ya’.”

“Hey!” You interjected, pushing him. He rocked back dramatically, pretending your small shove did anything when both of you knew very well it did not.

“What? It’s true. Ya looked so good too, covered in it. Even licked up what ya could,” Merle said, his lips inches from yours. His voice barely above a whisper. He had an annoyingly smug look on his face. Merle cupped your face in one of his large hands and pulled your head up to meet his eyeline. “Always do don’t ya? Always swallow whatever I give ya.”

You froze and stared back. Why did his damn jawline have to be so perfect and his stupid eyes have to be so blue?

“Uh-huh,” you mumbled, nodding. You were momentarily lost in Merle’s deep blue eyes, and the way his warm skin felt on yours.

“Yah ya do, such a good girl,” Merle dragged his thumb softly across your bottom lip, making you moan involuntarily. He always knew exactly what to do and say to make you want him. “Wanna do it again, baby doll. Lay ya down, fuck ya till ya scream so much ya can’t talk no more. ‘Member that baby? When I pounded that pussy so hard ya couldn’t barely think?”

“I gotta…” Daryl started, and never quite finished his sentence before he got up and left the table. You saw him shake his head and sigh. Daryl had grown up with Merle, and he was used to the things Merle said to women, Daryl himself not too shy about saying filthy things if your friends were anything to go by. But this was a little out of Daryl’s comfort zone.

“Merle, stop,” you said moving away from Merle and crossing your arms over your chest. You were upset, half at Merle for trying to get your going when you said you were tired, and half at yourself for letting it work. You couldn’t blame Merle, though. Merle and you had never minced words when it came to what you two did together, and well, he was right about what you had done two days ago.

“Oh come on, I’m just messin’ wit ya,” Merle said, wrapping his arm around your shoulders and pulling you back into him. “Ya tired, baby doll?”

“Yeah,” you said softly, trying to still be upset, but enjoying the way it felt to have Merle’s arm around you too much. You scooted even closer to him and rested your head under the crook of his arm. Your hand rested on his chest and you looked up at him. When you saw him looking down at you, the angle his head was at making it look like he had a double chin, you couldn’t help but scrunch up your nose and grin. You playfully poked at the skin under his chin with your finger.

“What was that?” Merle asked. He tiled his head, which only made his double chin shift. Merle, never a fan of good posture, slumped down in his seat more and you could feel the little rolls of skin on his stomach. You squeezed one of them lightly and laughed again. “The fuck ya doin’ girl?”

“I don’t know,” you said with a laugh. You were so tired and still turned on from Merle’s previous words you could feel a delirious set of giggles come over you. Something about Merle, the strongest, most explosive man you ever met still having little rolls of fat on his body, even though you knew very well he was almost all muscle, made you giggle. How could someone so dangerous also be so cute? “You’re squishy.”

“The fuck?” Merle snapped. He took another large sip of his beer and set it back down on the table. “I’m squishy? The hell does that mean?”

“It means, you’re squishy,” you said, throwing Merle a “duh” expression and rolling your eyes. “Its cute.”

Merle lifted up the arm that wasn’t around your shoulders and bent it at the elbow, flexing his bicep. It bulged, the large muscle clearly defined on his arm. You grinned and bit your tongue, unable to deny that even as ridiculous as it was to see a grown man flex in public, it was still kind of hot.

“This look squishy?” Merle asked, raising an eyebrow at you, which only made you laugh.

“Yeah,” you said simply, poking the skin on the underside of his arm, that regardless of how much Merle could bench press or lift, gravity and time would always make a bit softer.

Merle unflexed his arm and wrapped it around you, squeezing your side, the sudden move making you wiggle in his arms.

“Ya a bit squishy too, baby,” Merle said with a big wide grin. “Ain’t got no room to talk.”

You looked up at Merle with a look of hurt on your face. You felt slightly embarrassed and self conscious and mumbled, “You said you liked it.”

“Fuck ya I do,” Merle practically growled, “It’s fun to slap, an’ bite, an’ hold on ta, an’ lick, an’ suck, an’…”

Merle’s reassurance made you feel more confident about yourself, but you still cut him off. “Oh my god, shut up!”

Just as you were shouting at Merle and trying not to laugh too loudly, two of the friends you came with showed up.

“Hey,” your friend said, smiling at you and then nodding at Merle. “We’re going to head over to Mike’s place. He’s having a few people over. You wanna come, or are you good?”

You looked up at Merle and then back at your friend and pretended to consider it for a moment. Merle raised his eyebrow at you, looking mildly offended you’d consider going to a party instead of spending time with him.

“I think I’ll just, I don’t know, maybe,” you said, sighing, and really playing like you were indecisive about what you wanted to do. “I’m tired.”

“Mike said he’d let us stay over if we got too drunk,” your other friend offered. On most occasions, before you had met Merle, this would have been a selling point. Not having to worry about a ride home so it was safe to get drunk was always a plus.

“Oh, cool,” you said grinning at your friends. You could feel Merle’s grip on you tighten. He was doing it unconsciously, but Merle clearly did not like the idea that you’d go to some other guy’s house rather than spend the evening with him. “But, I’m super beat. I think I’ll just get a ride home with Merle.”

Merle’s grip on you loosened and you saw a cocky grin spread across his face.

“Okay,” your friend said, giving Merle a look that clearly showed she had no idea what you saw in him. “Can you get home okay?”

“I’ll take ‘er home,” Merle snapped. He didn’t like the implication that he wouldn’t be able to take care of you.

“Is he…sober?” You friend asked, whispering the last word.

“I’m just fine, thank’ya,” Merle snapped. His jaw was set and you could see he was about half a second from saying something everyone would regret.

“Merle’ll take care of me,” you said, nodding at your friend. You were reassuring her and Merle in equal measure. “He’ll drink some water and sober up a bit before we leave, right?”

Merle nodded at you once, his jaw still clenched.

“Would Daryl wanna come?” your other friend asked after a short pause, a little too eagerly.

“P’rolly,” Merle mumbled thorough clenched teeth. He still found it odd how many women threw themselves at his younger brother, who despite having absolutely no game, still got more play than anyone in town. “He fucked off somewhere. Go ask him.”

Your friend nodded happily and then went to look for Daryl. You smiled at your other friend who stood there, once again looking at Merle, trying to see what you saw in him. She smiled back before turning to walk away.

“Okay, I’ll see you later then,” your friend said hesitantly.”Uhm, drive safe. Text me if you need me to come get you, from…anywhere.”

“I said I got ‘er,” Merle shot back. He may have not been a formally educated man, but he knew when a subtle jab had been laid on him. Merle knew your friends liked him well enough, but not enough to fully trust him. He didn’t appreciate them implying he wouldn’t get you home safe. “Ya ain’t got nothin’ to worry yer little self ‘bout.”

You gave Merle an odd look and rolled your eyes. His accent always got more dramatic when he was being an asshole. You whispered up at Merle “play nice,” and saw his lip twitch indignantly once.

Your friend said bye quickly, glancing at you one more time before running off to your other friend who was talking to Daryl at the other end of the bar. Merle glared at them with a murderous look in his eyes before he mumbled “bitch.”

“Hey!” You snapped at Merle. “They’re my friends. It’s their job to make sure I get home safe.”

“An’ they think I can’t do that?” Merle said. You could see how riled up he was and knew you had to diffuse the situation if you didn’t want to just argue the rest of the evening.

“Baby,” you whispered. You ran your hand over his chest softly and turned towards him so your breasts brushed up against him. “It’s not that. Women are always worried about their friends when to comes to men. Most men are disgusting assholes, you know this.”

Merle grunted and then nodded his agreement. You could still see he was tense and took a deep breath before speaking again, you were almost too tired to be soothing Merle’s ego right now, but you cared too much about him not to.

“I know you’ll take care of me,” you said as you ran your hand along his jawline and then back down to his chest. You leaned towards him and kissed him on the cheek and then nestled into him more.

“Damn right I will,” Merle said. You could tell he was a bit calmer now, thank god. He turned his attention to the other side of the bar where your friends were now leaving with Daryl. “Why they tryin’ to get at Daryl? Ain’t they got themselves someone?”

“Yeah,” you said with a shrug. “But their partners are boring. And your brother’s hot.”

“An’ I’m what?” Merle said, upset at you commenting on Daryl’s looks.

“Squishy,” you said, grinning broadly up at Merle. “And I guess you’re handsome too.”

“That’s more like it,” Merle said with a single firm nod.

“And me?” you said, raising your eyebrow at Merle and waiting for him to compliment you back.

“Ya a fuckin’ sexy piece of ass, ya know that. Ya do, don’t ya?” Merle asked, kissing the top of your head and squeezing you tightly against him.

You sighed and wrapped your arms around Merle’s waist. “You’re such a romantic,” you teased.

“But ya know that, right?” Merle said, looking at you with an expression that was hard to read. It was somewhere in between anger and concern.

“Know what?” you asked, trying to figure out Merle’s expression.

“That ya sexy as shit,” Merle said.

“Okay, thanks,” you said with a laugh. You rolled your eyes and put your head on Merle’s chest again. You took the opportunity to peer up and look around the now mostly empty bar, and wondered how late it was.

“Anytime, baby,” Merle said. He was also looking around at the people left in the bar and decided he wanted to move things elsewhere. “Ya gonna come home with me?”

“I’m tired,” you said once again. You lifted your head off of Merle’s chest and sat up with a groan.

“Heard ya the first eight times,” Merle mumbled and then tossed you a wink when he saw your annoyed expression. “Ya comin’ home with me or not?”

“I guess,” you said softly. You wanted to be with Merle but had no desire to sleep with him tonight. Merle had never made you feel like you couldn’t say no to him, but a part of you still felt weird going home with him if he thought there was any chance of having sex.

“Ya guess?” Merle asked, sensing your hesitation.

“I just, I just want to go home and sleep with you,” you said, realizing right away how your wording could have been misunderstood. Before you had a chance to correct yourself, Merle chimed in.

“Sounds like a damn good night, honey,” Merle said happily. He pushed you over so you could both stand up and then grabbed your hand to lead you to the door.

“No,” you said, a slight whine in your voice. “I meant like I just actually want to sleep. I’m exhausted, Merle. Work has been a big pile of shit this week and I just wanna, ya know, fall asleep.”

“That’s just fine, sugar,” Merle said, the drawl in his voice more dramatic when he was trying to be sweet. “We’ll just sleep. I promise.”

Merle put his right hand up as if he was swearing on something. You smiled and shook your head. God he was ridiculous sometimes.

“Let’s just go,” you said after a moment’s pause. You grabbed Merle’s hand and started to walk towards the door and then stopped a few steps later. “Where’s Daryl?”

“Iono,” Merle mumbled and shrugged.

“Well, did you drive together?” You asked.

“Yah, we did. So?” Mere said. He started walking towards the door again and tugged you along with him.

“So, doesn’t he need a ride home?” You asked, looking at Merle like this was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Oh honey, if he ain’t here, he’s probably at that fuckin’ assholes house, or balls deep in one of yer friends,” Merle said with a smug chuckle as the two of you walked outside and he immediately popped a cigarette in his mouth.

You made a loud “tsk” noise with your tongue and let out a grunt of disapproval.

“What? It’s true!” Merle said with a laugh. The two of you had walked over to Merle’s old truck and he opened the passenger door for you. “Taught the boy everythin’ he knows.”

You sighed and shook your head. Sometimes it amazed you how many of Merle’s comments you just had to let go and were almost proud of yourself from not punching him in the face half the time.

“Are you good to drive?” You asked. You could tell he was. Three beers over he course of an evening wasn’t much for Merle. But it was possible he had been drinking way before you saw him that day.

“Told ya I’m fine, only had the two before ya got here,” he said. He looked at you for a moment and then asked in a soft tone “ya trust me, right?”

“Ya, I do,” you nodded. And you meant it. If for no other reason other than Merle clearly needed to know you did. He always surprised you with his small moments of insecurity.

Merle shut the door once you were in and you buckled your seat belt.

The ride home was unusually quiet. Merle somehow balancing smoking and driving with one hand while stroking your thigh with the other hand. He did so softer than usual, his fingers not trying to unbutton your pants or slip under your panties like they did most rides home. Merle’s large hand never went higher than your mid thigh, his palm rubbing the inside of your leg. You watched his hand for most of the ride home, studying the marks and scars and blemishes that covered it. You took note of how long and thick his fingers were, and how the veins and muscles in his hands flexed every time he squeezed your leg, the shadows on the curves and divots of his hand more dramatic every time he drove under a streetlight or passed oncoming traffic with their lights on. It was almost hypnotic, watching his hand move up and down your leg. By the time you made it back to his place, you were half-way drifted off to sleep.

Merle parked his car in front of his trailer on the edge of town. He shut the truck off and looked over at you, a small smirk on his face half covered in shadows.

“Let’s get ya to bed, baby,” Merle said softly. He hopped out of the truck and stood at the front of it, lit another cigarette, and waited for you to get out. Merle had mastered the art of opening the door for you to get in the car, but never quite got the chivalrous act of opening the door for you to get out.

You climbed out of Merle’s truck and shut the door. You walked slowly over to Merle and leaned into him when he wrapped his arm around you and walked you inside. He smelled like smoke and booze, but you didn’t mind too much. Underneath it, he also smelled like Merle, and was warm like Merle, and when you looked up at his eyes, they were that cold blue only Merle’s eyes could be.

Merle lead you into his house and noticed Daryl had his door shut and his light on. You could hear the soft sound of two voices realizing someone else had just made it home.

“Told ya,” Merle said. He put his cigarette out on the ashtray on the dirty coffee table and raised his eyebrows at you.

“Whatever,” you said and then yawned. You really didn’t care if it was one of your friends or not who was with Daryl. If it was one of your friends, good for them. Most of your friends had a thing for him and Daryl was a better guy than any of their boring ass boyfriends anyway. And if it was someone else, it wasn’t your business. “I’m gonna go steal some of your mouthwash.”

“‘Kay,” Merle said. He watched you walked into the bathroom and then started towards his room.

You washed your mouth out with the bottle of mouthwash on the counter and rinsed your face off with water. You then went to the bathroom and headed to Merle’s room.

When you stepped inside he was already lying in bed in just his dark grey boxers, his hands behind his head.

You sat on the edge of Merle’s bed and kicked off your shoes. You slipped off your socks and then pulled off your pants. You considered for a moment then turned around to face Merle, who had been watching you undress with a quiet interest.

“Can I borrow a shirt?” You asked and then added.

“A’course baby,” Merle said. He stood up out of bed and walked over to his small closet. He considered his small collection of clothes before handing you an old Lynyrd Skynyrd shirt. “That work?”

“Yeah,” you said and nodded happily. You slipped off your shirt and bra, smiling at Merle’s expression when he caught a glimpse of your breasts. You pulled on Merle’s shirt, the fabric hanging down to the top of your thighs and inhaled deeply. The shirt smelled like Merle, a deep, earthy, surprisingly clean smell that made you smile.

“Ya look good in my shirt,” Merle said, throwing you a wink.

“I like it,” you said walking over to Merle and placed your hand on his chest. You leaned up and kissed him on the lips, breaking away when you felt him try to slip his tongue in your mouth. You knew if you gave Merle an inch, you’d certainly not be getting much sleep that night. “Thank you.”

You took the few steps over to Merle’s bed and got under the blanket. Merle left for a moment to go brush his teeth and pee before walking back into his room and crawling into bed with you. When he settled down into bed, you shifted over to Merle and rested your head on his chest and took a deep breath. Your legs wrapped around Merle’s as you clung onto him.

“So why ya so needy tonight?” Merle asked.

You looked up at him, ready to be upset at him calling you needy, when you saw the smirk on his face and knew he was joking. You rested your chin on his chest and sighed.

“Nothing,” you said before correcting yourself. “Everything.”

“What’s that mean?” Merle asked. His arm wrapped around your back held you tight to him while his other hand ran down your arm slowly.

“Bunch a little stuff,” you said with a shrug.

“Tell me,” Merle insisted. He sounded genuinely concerned, which was enough to already make you feel better.

So you told him. You listed all the little things that seemed insignificant on their own, but that had built up over the week.

Saying it out loud made you feel dumb. Juvenile even. You knew Merle had been through so much; the scars that covered his body physical reminders of the countless mental and psychological horrors Merle had endured. The lines on Merle’s face and the way he’d sometimes stare off in the distance for hours, seeing everything and nothing all at the same time, reminded you of the inner turmoil Merle faced each day. You knew Merle didn’t make much money and didn’t have much of a chance to move up in the world financially in this small town with his reputation. And you knew Merle wouldn’t ever do what he needed to do to fix this because it would mean losing his brother. Your small, simple problems seemed so pathetic next to the burdens you knew Merle carried.

Still, Merle didn’t think like that. He just didn’t like seeing you, one of the few people he cared about, upset.

“I’m sorry, baby girl,” Merle whispered into your hair before lightly kissing the top of your head. He squeezed you closer to him and groaned deeply. “Anyone I need ta knock around a bit for ya?”

You laughed and bit your lip while you shook your head. “No, not right now,” you said. “But I’ll let ya know.”

You took a deep breath and nestled your head into Merle’s chest. He was so warm and soft, but the bones and muscle underneath his skin still so firm, he made a perfect pillow. You couldn’t think of anywhere you’d rather be at that moment than in his arms. Even though he was being the perfect gentlemen at the moment, he still had such a presence you felt as if you were being held by some type of large feral animal. Merle held you there for a few moments, letting you settle into him and relax before he shifted position.

“Come ‘ere,” Merle said. He pushed you softly and rolled you over so he could pull your back against his chest. Merle gripped your hip in his hand and pulled your ass into his crotch, making you laugh softly. Even when he was being sweet, Merle was still filled with sexual energy.

You relaxed into Merle’s bed. You closed your eyes and let your thoughts drift to Merle and how he felt with his large chest pressed up against you. He wrapped his arm around your stomach while the other arm laid above your head and you grinned to yourself when you felt how large they were. You could feel him harden underneath you, but you knew that was just Merle’s reaction to having you this close to him. You ran your own hand down his arm, feeling the warm muscle and soft hair that covered his flesh. After a couple minutes, you thought about how different being in Merle’s bed like this was from your past experiences and let out of a soft laugh.

“What’s so funny?” Merle mumbled into his pillow when he heard you chuckle.

“Never been in your bed with clothes on,” you said, continuing to run your hand across his arm that was around your stomach.

Merle laughed and then leaned forward to pull you closer and suck at your earlobe.

“Still got time to change that, baby,” he said softly.

You could feel his erection pressed up against your back and leaned back into it before sighing. “Not tonight. I just wanna sleep.” You said softly. A part of you wanted to let Merle have his way with you, but a larger part was enjoying being in his arms too much. The way his chest felt against your back, how his arms surrounded you completely, and how you could feel his chest rise and fall with each breath was just too perfect.

“I know,” Merle said softly. “Go to sleep, doll.”

“Mmh,” you moaned softly. “Goodnight, handsome.”

Merle let out of a soft breath against the nape of your neck, “‘Night, pretty girl.”

You could feel his stubble scratching against your neck. His body heat was warming you up almost too much, but you didn’t want to move away. You kicked the blanket of your legs, the cold night air cooling you, but Merle’s body warming you right back up. You were so tired, but you fought sleep. You wanted to stay like this; wrapped in the arms the man who was the personification of masculine energy, breathing in time with him, feeling completely relaxed and content for the first time in weeks.

Eventually you did fall asleep and only opened your eyes hours later, the late morning light spilling through Merle’s bedroom window. You lifted your head up and looked around. You had slept so well you had drooled a bit onto Merle’s pillow.

You had to move Merle’s arm off your body in order to get up. You carefully pulled his arm up and off of you. Once freed, you sat up and stretched your arms over your head. You groaned as you stretched out your arms and back. When you looked over at Merle, you smiled. He was laying on his side, one of his arms tucked up by his chest, the other resting on the part of the bed where you had just been. He was always so handsome when he slept. The seemingly permanent scowl on his face relaxed, his mouth slightly open, his breathing slow and even; all of these things made Merle look so very content. You curled your knees up to your chest, rested your head on your kneecaps, and watched Merle sleep for a few minutes. Most mornings when you woke in Merle’s bed, you did so with your clothes thrown around the room and your body stiff, sore, and covered in whatever marks Merle had left on you the night before. This morning was different.

This morning you felt perfectly rested, and calm, and content. You felt as though you could watch Merle sleep for hours.

Merle was lying on his stomach. His head was tilted to one side and you could see how calm he looked in his sleep. One of his arms was rested above his head on the pillow and the other, which you had moved off our body when you sat up, was now curled up by his body. He looked so comfortable and peaceful you didn’t want to disturb him. You could hear his steady breathing as he slept, bordering on snoring. It was a noise that made you happy. A deep noise you knew you could have felt through his chest if you were next to him still. You were tempted to reach out and place your palm on his chest to see if you could feel it as he breathed, but you were afraid you’d disturb him.

Merle shifted in his sleep momentarily before he groaned and tried to move. His arm reached out for you, expecting to find you right next to him. After a few seconds of blindly groping around for you, he lifted his head up and opened his eyes. He knitted his brow, the scowl and lines on his face returning the second he was conscious, and looked for you. His mild disorientation made you smile and knowing he was looking for you the second he was awake made you feel so wanted. You cleared your throat and shifted your position before speaking.

“Morning,” you said softly.

Merle’s eyes focused on you and he smirked. He stretched his arms over his head, a slow languid movement that made him groan and a few of his bones pop, and then sat up.

“Mornin’,” Merle answered back. His usual drawl so slow and muffled you could only make out what he said by context alone.

Merle and you stayed quiet for a moment. Merle wasn’t quite awake yet, his hand rubbed over his face and he stretched again before he reached out towards you. You reached out and grabbed his hand and he tugged you down to him. From your position you had to let you legs slide down and then roll over to him, making you roll over into his chest, which you fell against with an exaggerated grunt. You could feel the very obvious morning erection Merle was sporting resting against the leg you had thrown over his lap. It was not surprising. If Merle did not have morningwood, that would news. He always woke up ready to go.

“There’s my girl,” Merle said with his voice still more gravely than normal in the morning.

You scrunched your nose up at him and smiled. “And there’s your morning breath.”

“Yers ain’t that great either, doll,” Merle shot back with a grin.

“Fine,” you said very quickly. You were trying to sound and act offended but you really weren’t. You unlatched yourself from Merle’s side and got out of bed. You turned around to look at him quickly before leaving his room and walking into the bathroom.

You were hoping Daryl, and whoever he was with if they were still over, did not walk in on you in the bathroom with your messy hair and just Merle’s old shirt on. You turned on the sink and rinsed your mouth out with water first before taking a bit swig of mouthwash and swishing it around and gargling it in your mouth. You were shocked that Merle even had mouthwash and wondered for a moment if it was actually Daryl’s. Merle walked in just as you finished.

“Yer not usually one ta spit, baby girl,” Merle teased with a devilish grin. He walked right up behind you and pushed into you so you were pressed against his bathroom counter.

You glared at him through the mirror which just made him chuckle. He loved teasing you a little too much.

He grabbed his toothbrush and toothpaste and started to brush his teeth. His other arm wrapped around your stomach and he pulled you closer to him while simultaneously pushing you closer into the bathroom counter. You let out a little noise of contentment and wiggled against him. You looked directly up at Merle’s face and then reached your hand up to run it along the stubble on his jawline.

“You should keep this,” you told him.

Merle leaned over you to take a sip of water directly from the faucet before spitting into the sink.

“Ya?” Merle said with a grunt. He looked at himself in the mirror and considered it.

“I like it,” you said. You turned your head so you were looking at Merle and yourself in the mirror.

Looking at the two of you, Merle’s arms wrapped around you and your hand on his face, you thought for a moment you liked how you looked with him. It was the first time you had really looked at how the two of you looked together. You smiled and just let this calm, sweet moment with Merle last for as long as possible.

It did not last long. Merle leaned down and kissed the top of your shoulder and began to place quick kisses along your shoulder to your neck. He kissed up to your ear, sucking your earlobe in his mouth before moving back down to your neck. You could feel him start to grind himself against you and could feel him hardening again.

Merle kissed back up to your ear and you could feel his hot breath against your skin, his hands roaming over your stomach and up to your breasts, the way he had you pinned to counter. Everything about him was just so unbelievably consuming you couldn’t help but push your ass back into him and grab his arms with your hands.

Merle suddenly broke away from you, causing you to gasp and turn towards him, wondering what had happened.

“Gotta take a piss,” Merle said and then walked over to the toilet a few feet away.

You groaned and rolled your eyes before walking out of the bathroom to go get coffee from the kitchen.

“Where ya goin’?” You heard Merle shout from the bathroom when he saw you leave.

“Coffee, you idiot,” you shouted back.

“Make me some!” Merle shouted back at you as he flushed the toilet.

If Daryl wasn’t awake already, the two of you shouting certainly woke him.

You walked over to Merle’s small kitchen and grabbed the coffee grounds. You made a pot of strong coffee and watched it slowly fill up. When it had finished, you filled up two cups and walked them back to Merle’s room.

Merle was sitting on the edge of his bed, his stomach folded into little rolls that made you grin.

“Thanks,” Merle said and reached out for his cup.

“No,” you said, keeping the cups out of arm’s reach.

“Ain’t funny to be messin’ with my morning coffee, girl,” Merle said; he was only half joking.

“You didn’t kiss me goodnight or good morning properly, so no coffee,” you said. You were being silly and juvenile, but something about being with Merle like this, in one of his old t-shirts, brushing your teeth and having coffee together, made you feel giddy.

Merle sighed and shook his head, but eventually he smiled. He stood up and kissed your lips, his morning scruff scratching your skin softly.

“Ya happy?” Merle drawled, unable to hide the smile that played at the corner of his mouth.

“You owe me one more,” You said, making your most pathetic pouting face.

“Jesus Christ, baby. I just want some coffee,” Merle whined. He had placed both hands on your hips and rested his forehead against yours. He kissed you again, this time a bit firmer.

“That’ll do,” you said with a nod.

You handed him his coffee and sat next to him on the bed. You tucked your legs underneath yourself and rested your head on his shoulder. The two of you sipped your coffee in silence for a few moments.

“What ya wanna do today?” Merle asked you. His hand had reached over and was now rubbing up and down your thigh softly.

“This,” you said with a shrug.

Merle smiled and nodded.

“What? Sit in my bed an’ drink coffee?” Merle said with a hint of sarcasm in his voice. Now that he was more awake, Merle’s usual sarcasm and sharp humor was returning.

“Yeah,” You said with a nod. “And watch TV. And then take a shower. And then eat food. Nap. Ya know. Fun stuff.”

Merle grinned over at you, his tongue darting out to lick his lips as he shook his head slowly.

“Ya somethin’ else ya know that?” Merle said. He finished the last of his coffee in two large gulps and put it on the dresser not too far from his bed. “Ya gonna fuck me at all today?”

“I’ll think about it,” you told him with a big, too toothy, too wide grin. You took another sip of your coffee and studied Merle’s face. You smiled into your cup, the warmth of the liquid mirroring the warmth in the rest of your body.

Merle laid back on his bed, his hand that was on your thigh now rubbing open-palmed circles on your lower back. His other hand rested across his chest. You watched him silently and drank the last of your coffee.

You put your cup next to Merle’s and then laid down. You curled up into the crook of Merle’s arm and laid your hand on his chest. You bent your leg so your thigh rested along his and he brought his hand over to pull your thigh up more. You let out a little laugh and leaned more into Merle. He was so warm. And the steady rise and fall of his chest was so rhythmic you began breathing in time with him.

At one point Merle began to lift your shirt over your head. You let him. And he pulled your panties down your legs. You let him. He made sure you were good and ready for him before he slid into you. He fucked you until you came and then had you ride him until you came again, and then flipped you on your stomach and held your legs off the end the bed while he fucked you hard and fast until you came two more times. When he was done, he pulled you back to the head of his bed and wrapped his arms around you. You rested on him, feeling sleepy and content.

You spent the rest of the day in bed with Merle. Getting up only for food, water, and bathroom breaks. When it was nightfall again, he drove you home. You were sad to watch him drive away, but knew you had to get back to reality. Playing house with Merle wasn’t realistic. It wasn’t sustainable. It was a thought that gnawed at the back of your mind all weekend that you had to desperately try to fend off. You were glad to be home and by yourself in a way. That happy little slice of domestic life with Merle was able to stay untarnished and perfect this way. In a way that was the most fantasy you ever indulged in with Merle. The fantasy that a man as malcontent and traumatized as Merle would ever be able to have a typical relationship with anyone as malcontent and dysregulated as yourself.

But you weren’t going to think about that. You were going to take a shower and clean your place and make yourself dinner for one and then go to bed. You were going to keep moving forward, pushing the fantasy, no matter how appealing, of a healthy, loving, long-term relationship with Merle out of your mind.

You were not going to think about it. You told yourself as you sat on the edge of your bed before going to sleep Sunday evening.

You were not going to think about it. You told yourself as you picked up your phone to call Merle and see what he was up to.

You were not going to think about it. You told yourself as Merle told you he’d be over in fifteen.

You were not going to think about it. You told yourself as Merle drove up to your place and you threw your leg over his bike and let him take you back to his place.

You were not going to think about it. You told yourself as Merle took you directly to his bedroom and then took you until you couldn’t think at all anymore.


End file.
